Things That Really Piss Me Off...

Ok. So lately I have just had a head filled to the brim with anger. I shouldnt even be this angry because there is so many good things going on right now, its just I can only focus on the negative ones. One of the main reasons I think why im so angry is because of my father. I love him and whatnot, but I just cant stand bein around the guy. He pisses me off more than anybody I know. First of all, he gives me (a 19 year old) a curfew of midnight. LAME! Im not saying curfews are a bad thing, its just that when I see everybody else in the YSA (Young Single Adults) who does or doesnt live with their parents, who get to stay out as late as they want to, its uber frustrating to me. So I was at my friend Laura Page's house the other night. We were all playing scategories and everybody kept getting angry with me and I couldnt figure out why. So after the game I got to talking to my buddy Christopher Ross about some stuff and I sort of lost track of the time. So me and my friend Korey Deese left and while we were on I40 on the way home, my dad calls me and is like "why arent you home?" and I was like "well im on my way now and ill be there in a few minutes" so he says "well when you get home, come and see me in my bedroom". And im thinking to myself "oh crap, here it comes". So then I start venting to korey about a whole list of things that make me mad. We finally got to my house. I called koreys phone so that he could listen in on the conversation that was about to take place in a matter of minutes. He leaves. I go upstairs and one of the first things my dad says to me is "if you miss curfew one more time, im going to take your phone away for a week!". That got me super pissed off. Then he proceeds to lecture me for a good 45 minutes while Im getting more and more furious by the second. Its a good thing I can control my temper around him so well or he would have got whats coming to him a long time ago. Im not typically a violent person but its getting to the point where I just want to smash his face in. I cant stand it anymore. Its stressing me out to the point of tears sometimes. I dont know what to do about it because he gives me shit ALL THE TIME about how I dont have a job and how I dont pay for things and that I live in his house for free and how he told me a year ago that I need to get another job and blah blah blah the list goes on. He lives in his own little world and doesnt have a clue. And hes always getting on me for just stupid stuff I dont even want to talk about right now. Hes always telling me how hes "trying to help me", yeah, BULL SHIT! NOT TRUE. If he wanted to help me, then he should go about it in a different way. Not get on me all the time about this and that. He wont even help me get a freakin car for cryin out loud. I think that hes still holding a grudge about what happened last summer. But its getting a little rediculous not being able to drive anywhere. I feel like such a moocher when im constantly calling people for rides to places. It frustrates me soooo much. And people are constantly joking about it, which usually I can handle, until I start really thinking about it and how much it blows not having my own transportation, because im pretty much at the mercy of everybody else. Enough about him because the list goes on and on and on and on. Something else that has bothering me is the fact that my best friend is now gone on his mission and hates my guts. Ive already explained in another post so, moving on. My other friend, Jordan Hilton, just recently left for his mission. I miss him as well. Izzy Pike just releft for his. Miss him too. Going back to the job thing for a minute, its depressing when you fill out SOOO MANY freakin applications and just get rejected all the time. I think most people feel sympathetic towards me, except for my father. He just gets on me for not having a job when he offers no real help to help me get one. Anyways, So yeah, job hunt is definately not going well and it sucks. MOVING ON. Another thing that has more recently been bothering me is the fact that im trying to be such a good friend to certain people (Paige knows who she is) and they just end up pissing me off ALL THE TIME. We have talked about how she doesnt ever have anything to do and whenever I call her to try to do something with her, it just ends up being a rejection phone call and I feel like its been happening a lot lately. It doesnt change the fact that I still love her, however, its still frustrating. I know for a fact that we have talked about how at SVU, she always felt like she was putting forth more effort into relationships with her friends and that they didnt really seem to care as much as she did. Thats exactly how I feel right now. It just seems a little bit hipocritical to me. And Paige, im sorry if this note seems a little harsh, but thats because im just furious with rage right now and obviously ive got a lot on my plate. We are definately still friends and I still love the crap out of you. :) I think that is enough for now....